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sometimes i wonder,
and at most times wonder too much.
what will ever happen to all of us when we're older?
will we ever get bored with what we're doing?
will we ever get bored of each other's company?
or would we ever idk,
remember the things that were lost in time
and reminisce about them all over again?
hahaha.
sometimes i want to be super:
whoa-whoa-awesome,
always nice,
always exceeding expectations,
always pushing the limits,
and always so able with everything
(and of course whatever super things you can think of).
but i know it can never be possible.
why?
cos im only human,
yes just like you and you and YOU.
hahaha.
... ... ?
i realised that we've all got many things to think about,
maybe not all the time for that'll drive us nuts,
but yeah,
there's just so many issues to ponder about,
to think and evaluate out.
don't you think?
.. guess im wishing my life away,
these things i'll never say...
a black NUM jacket,
a box of colour pencils,
a handmade Oreo cheesecake,
an organiser from Prints,
a handmade card filled with SO MUCh love,
plenty of greetings thru sms-es,
through msn convos,
and even friendster comments
and blog tags...
oh man, what more can i ask for? :D
i love you guys to bits!
many thanks to the canoeists,
esp SAM,
who took time off to make the huge card :D
and also you who made the huge cheesecake ^^
( i cant finish it really, help! lol )
and MUMMY for bringing me to Wild Rocket
for an awesome dinner! :DDD
and to the rest out there who remembered?
haha i'll remember you guys' ones too (;
angie angie angie please go to OTC interview!
andrea andrea andrea too!
okay,
im supposed to be happy
and i will be (:
loves (:
happy birthday in advance to MARK from tp's MOI
and also yeeping too! ^^
so many things going on,
so little time to spare to tend to every issue,
so limited amount of energy to spare for entertainment,
so unnoticeable a smile to smile all the troubles away everyday,
so want to lay down and rest without worry
but no, i cant do it,
for that wouldn't be me anymore.
i care and sometimes care too much,
listen and comfort a bit too much,
such that sometimes people think
that i don't have,
or maybe would never have troubles,
of my own,
cos i can solve all kinds of problems
just like that
and can tolerate with everything
till idk, the end of my time on Earth maybe.
i dont blame anybody or what,
faults all lie in me myself and i,
and im just thinking and thinking about it.
is it wrong to care and be concerned too much,
and being able to give chances to those around me?
i don't get backstabbed nor betrayed,
well maybe i did get them,
jus that i didn't know or didn't really bother
and still managed to give the culprit(s) chances.
but i always experience people around me getting hit by them,
then getting hurt ever-so-badly.
i wanna help,
but i withdraw cos i don't know how,
and i'll feel damn down cos they are down too,
cant anyone see?
i don't wanna be mean,
i don't like it.
though sometimes i am,
i don't really mean them.
maybe im jus drowning myself in self-pity,
but idk.
so someone jus come and enlighten me,
and try being me for once?
im probably jus ranting here,
trying to calm down then go sleep.
haha jus hope that everything goes fine.
and now im thinking,
what if i go MIA for a while?
will people start to get worried and all
cos they cant find someone to let out their problems to?
will people start to look for me high and low
cos they really needed me?
idk, i really don't know.
im thinking randomly now i know,
and maybe this post shouldn't even be posted
for there's no need for people to know how im feeling at all,
cos it's not interesting
and might not even be important at all.
well, again,
i might be pitying myself or whatnot (:
goodnight all.
and yea,
it's ANDREA'S BIRTHDAY (:
happy birthday babe (:
and uhm, not damai andrea, but TP's MOI's andrea (;
some freaking woman tried
to sweep my face using her broom jus now.
kns made me so pissed off,
but cos i was on the phone with my mum,
i couldnt spill out all that i had
at that moment.
it was like wtf?
you wanna ask me what time that
cake shop closes
then ask nicely lah,
it's not as if i dont wanna tell you or what.
some more i told you idk alr,
still use the broom to point and point
and try to hit my face.
cb, dirty you know,
no sense of hygiene is it?
dwinrgoainglksmfvpsng
and though i hate them,
i really pity them sometimes
cos it isnt what they'd wanted nor asked for.
but, TOO BAD for this woman who jus swept me,
i shall not pity her AT ALL.
whoever asked you to make me dirty?
*grins widely.
haha k, i ranted enough ^^
three seven seven A: to keep or not to keep?
idk, do we kids even have a say in this?
i doubt the gahmen would even take a few minutes off
to check out that particular website
to see how many people actually took time off to sign the petition
to get rid of that ancient law.
honestly,
i want them to get rid of it,
cos i just dont want friends around me
to get thrown into jail for no reason...
yet thinking about it rationally
and practically,
i want them to keep it.
it's jus so difficult to decide
and it'll definitely be a no-end argument.
aww man.
anyway,
school's out for one week,
thought i'll still be in school
almost everyday
for training and such.
booooo.
and, something's happening but idk what is?
WEEEHEEEE.
we finished our PComD project like finally!
and and and we're gonna have a one week break
cos we finished our 15 sessions earlier ^^
well, okay maybe not for all of us :P
and im taking jap for CDS?
hahahaha!
cool cool,
and am gonna be in the same class as some of my friends again yo (:
cant wait for 2d art fund too,
cos we can start drawing like mad again weeee :D
and i realised that the library is a really good place to sleep in.
with airconditioning,
and it's so quiet with nobody to disturb you,
plus at some levels there's couches and sofas for us.
who'd ever resist this temptation? :D
yol named her paddle Dick,
sam's Tom,
so mine should be Jerry or Harry?
haha JERRY DUH.
you can never imagine how much fun
you'll be having with them ^^
and so now i have my paddle named Jerry,
and my beloved mac named Johan.
haha coolness, 私は好む!
apparently idk what to do right now,
my mind's like blank =/
i wonder how is it like being deaf sometimes
(no offense to those who're audibly handicapped)...
the other day i was jus listening to some songs
playing from jinmin's phone,
and i tried to play it as loud as my ears could take
and making sure that i couldnt hear a thing
coming from the environment i was in.
what happened right immediately was so cool that
idk how to explain it.
i mean,
imagine looking at people laughing around you,
talking around you,
and stuff like that
and yet you cant hear a thing from them.
i thought that it was kind of amusing
and started smiling to myself.
and when nobody noticed at all
(apparently they were busy laughing among themselves,
and idk why since i cant hear anything),
i realized how it is like to have nobody around you,
no sounds/noises around you,
nothing around you.
i was drained of all emotions in that instance,
feeling sad and jus so lonely.
keeping a smile on my face was an easy task though,
so nobody knew if anything happened to me, HA (:
so yea,
what if i just became deaf all of a sudden
for no rhyme or reason?
^^
cant find the words to describe how much i feel for you
cos you make me feel ever so real (:
im scared,
afraid,
unprepared maybe,
unsure,
unconfident,
pessimistic,
very very... afraid.
new assignments coming up to blow my mind,
shirt designs to do for pcomd
which is draining my brain juices very quickly,
canoeing training to keep up with,
more school work to keep me busy with...
im scared that i wont be good enough,
afraid that i cant cope with all that,
probably psycho-ed by my mind
to believe that im unprepared just cos im 17,
unsure cos it's all so new to me,
unconfident cos idk how strong i really am against so many others,
pessimistic for im thinking of plenty of what-ifs now,
like what if i fail to do it all right
and come up with disappointing work?
very very afraid for i might jus lose it all
and lose my confidence all over again...
sometimes i wonder:
why should i fear?
well,
im only human,
i have my fears too.
i should be more confident,
yes i know.
but...
im jus so afraid of stepping out
and making a difference
even though i keep saying,
"i want to! i want to!"
everybody wants to,
it's jus a matter of whether you did put in effort
to make a difference or not.
those who did came out great,
those who didnt regretted a lot.
i dont wanna regret,
i wanna do something,
but how?
that's my biggest concern.
this assignment thing which i'd be involved
will probably be the first biggest thing
which is gonna help me boost my confidence,
i hope.
im sorry,
i thought you would be happy for me.
im just so sorry.
im tired!
monopoly's crazy haha!
shall elaborate another time,
IF i remember (:
and i wanna go to the national stadium soon
before they officially tear it down.
anyone wants to go with meeeeeee? :D
weehee.
at bedok reservoir's macs right now.
SUPPOSED to be doing the booking
for our chalet this dec,
BUT,
wah happy new year,
we dont have any cards whatsoever to book lah.
now xiaoru's complaining,
"why christmas havent even come
then you wanna say happy new year??"
everyone's ignoring her now :D
ad she's trying to attract attention
by being spastic, HAHA.
pristine wants to be a SUPERMODEL
on SNTM,
SINGAPORE'S next top model.
hahahaha!
gimme a break dude.
what's your pohblem??
hahahahaha.
she wants to do her profile here i think,
but i think she's crazy hahahahar.
now they say that she should be
sg's next top autistic model,
retarded model... etc,
WAHAHAHAHAHAH.
here's a picture our 'model-in-the-making' :D
hahaha cute luh.
uh yeh i edited this post
after realising that something went really wrong.
didnt really expect that you'll take it so seriously,
and dont blame her
cos i was the one who blogged about it.
from the bottom of our hearts we sincerely apologise to you,
really, truthfully.
we should have thought about your feelings,
considered bout the consequences,
and yet we failed to do so.
we're terribly sorry.
still love you,
really.
nah it's probably just me ):
we is kena cheated again,
for we went to JURONG swimming complex
and they changed the freaking
maintenance dates,
from the 10th (yesterday)
to the 17th (next week).
AAAACK.
anyways,
think my face was really black
for a while today.
sorry, but
what do you expect to see from a person
who got so pissed of from
capsizing three times
within the first half an hour of rowing?
three times at around the same spot,
in the middle of NOWHERE,
near to a freaking pontoon which is unreliable,
and having to waste so much time
swimming with the boat.
plus, it isnt fun AT ALL
to have to swim with jus one hand paddling
and one leg kicking, cb.
thanks to the people who offered to help though,
very much appreciated ^^
uhm uhm uhm.
apparently i forgot what i'd wanted to blog about, again.
so forget it.
it's 1230am, so goodnight all.
joshua
pretty sadistic and weird,
on way or another.
jus one thing bad about it
is that it's a bit too draggy.
and it's very similar to The Omen,
well, somehow.
strolled down vivo,
saw edmund
who was going to sentosa
in JEANS AND SHOES
HAHAHAHAHA.
what the fuck sia!
then saw roy and haopei.
haha didnt know that they knew each other,
coolness!
and i couldnt find the brown jacket from topshop =/
probably have to visit wisma again..
no time lah ):
interview on tuesday,
director's talk tomorrow;
sighs, no training for two days! =/
sadness.
i wanna row k2 again :D
THUNDER AND LIGHTNING
AND AND AND
PLENTY OF RAIN WATER!
yes finally.
somehow,
jus somehow,
i love rainy days oh-so-much (:
i heart rain!
well not the person, DUH,
but the real rain ^^
it jus makes me feel so...
calm, serene,
and happy sometimes (:
but i thought rain should make people feel moody?
well no, not for me. ha!
off i go nowwww.
staying at home alone
even for less than half a day
was pretty awesome (:
nobody to poke their noses into what you're doing,
no excessive noise from the rest of the family,
jus peace.
i'd really like that more often,
though i'll jus get down and moody for no reason,
haha oh what the hell.
watched Disturbia LIKE FINALLY.
wtfbbq it was cool,
and the story would somehow make you feel
super paranoid hahaha.
okay maybe it's jus me, i dunno.
also watched The Lakehouse again,
still as unforgettable as
the last time i watched it at the movies (:
pretty worn out today,
despite not working out much.
probably cos of insuficient sleep
the past two nights haha.
at least i finished almost all of my school work.
only left with the actual design portfoilio.
man, it's shitty.
i havent even got an idea how i want it to be like.
outstanding yes of course,
but how so?
aw man.
still thinking still thinking.
show me the light, somebody, anybody! lol.
here goes 'More than words',
the Westlife version (:
now that i've tried to
talk to you and make you understand.
all you have to do is close your eyes and jus reach out your hands
and touch me,
hold me close dont ever let me go,
more than words
is all i ever needed you to show
then you wouldnt have to say
that you love me,
cos i'd already know (:
andrea tagged,
and requested for me to do this
chain thing.
hahaha since im bored,
why not?
:D SEE ANDREA, i is so nice worsx
ahahahaha.
Person who tagged me: tagged as in? uhm uhm luffy, amos and andrea hahaha.
Them
`My relationship with them:
luffy's a veh funny friend from school ^^
amos is sort of like a childhood friend, given that we've known each other since primary school,
and now he's in the same course as me :D
andrea's a crazy friend from damai!
`5 impressions I have of them: FUN! crazy and awesome in many ways, full of life and really trustworthy
`Most memorable thing they have done for me: uhm, probably too many to list (;
`Most memorable words they have said to me: too many to list too :D
`If they become my lover, I will: WOW, COOL DUDE.
`If they become my enemy, I will: think i'll probably have some mental illness by then
cos i cant be enemies with such nice poeple, can i? (;
`Most desirable thing I want to do for them now is: go out with all of them so they wont miss me so much :DDD
hahaha!
`My overall impression of them is: THEY'RE FANTABULOUS HUMANS and really great to be with (:
Me
`What I think people feel about me: uhm, very serious? i dunno. outspoken maybe.
`Characteristics I love about myself: idk, lol. care to share what are my characteristics?
`Characteristics I hate about myself: slightly too perfectionist, too lazy at times, being a wee bit too negative, and being so.. messy :P
`Most ideal person I want to be is: probably a mixture of my elder cousin, sonny, and my mum (:
`A message for people who care for me and like me: man, i love you all haha.
Pass this quiz to 10 people whom you wish to know how they feel about you:
1) HAKIM :D
2) samanStha, hehehe.
3) luffy (:
4) yolande, HEH.
5) maybe swee sin too :D
6) ANDREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
7) haq :D yup you have to do this twice :P
8) xiaoru too.
9) maybe AMOS (;
10) enough lah hor?
Them
`Who is no.6 having a relationship with?: lol no idea. have is it? :D
`Is no.9 a male or female?: GUY LUH. unless it's amosella or something lol.
`If no.7 and no.10 are in a relationship, will it be a good one?: i dont have anyone for ten HAHA.
`What is no.2 studying?: Leisure and Resort Management, TP Business WORSX (;
`When was the last time I chatted with no.3?: uhm.. i cant remember, lol. but very recent, online. MAO x)
`What type of music does no.8 like?: uhm, emo songs? lol. probably pop and all the common ones (:
`Does no.1 have siblings?: haha i guess so. two i think?
`Would I woo no.3?: HAHA MAYBE :D LUFFY SO CUTE LAH.
`Would I woo no.7?: HAHAHA. having him as a very good friend is good enough, love. (:
`Is no.o4 single?: haha i guess so...? :P
`What's no.5's surname?: KWEK (:
`What's no.4's hobby?: lol too many to list!
`Do no.5 and no.9 get along well?: LOL i doubt so.. they talk, that's all haha.
`Where is no.2 studying?: TP lah, i said so earlier. LOL.
`Say something casual about no.1: NICE SPECS KIM. milo peng anyone? :D
`Have I tried developing feelings for no.8?: uh no, haha.
`*Where does no.9 live?: UBI AVE 1 BLK 347 #09-XXX. HAHA. so near my place!
`What colour does no.4 like?: lol red i guess (:
`Are no.1 and no.5 best friends?: haha nah, they dont know each other.
`Does no.7 like no.2?: LOL they dont know each other either.
`How did I get to know no.2?: canoeingggggggg! ((:
`Does no.1 have any pets?: i guess not? haha.
`Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?: LOL probably? :D
whoopee finally done.
man that was some crazy shit.
please dont pass this kinda quiz to me every again hahahahah.
-
to angie:
all the best, girlfriend (:
stay happy k? haha.
had a really great time with you,
andrea and the rest today,
though i dont really know your clique very well haha.
and nice shoessssssss! :D
let's wear em one day k (:
hope yer internet connection thing
starts working soon
so we can chat online and all that (:
-
know what?
i cant wait for sunday, haha.
no particular reason why,
but
(:
it's one plus
and im supposed to be sleeping!
ahhhhh ciao. xx
i think my online dp is cool :D
people kept thinking that i've got a new girlfriend,
but that's angie,
veh good girlfriend of mine worzxs.
hahahahaha.
xiaoru kept staring at it;
jingyong thinks i really have a girlfriend;
shiyong congratulated me.
HAHAHAHA.
oh yea,
im really happy cos of this last night,
but i cant figure out why i didnt include
it into the post.
i've got 3.64 for my first semester's GPA.
man im exhilirated, overjoyed,
and definitely very very surprised.
gotta keep it going then (:
swensen's apple crumble is fatabulous :D
it's uber delicious and mmmmm,
the sweetness jus melts on yer tongue,
leaving behind a heavenly taste on yer tastebuds
while it slides down yer throat
ever so slowly.
haha okay maybe i exaggerated a bit,
but i think it's really... nice (:
im supposed to be working on my drafts
for PComD's assignment one, the resume and cover letter
and design portfolio,
yet im typing away here.
am i lazy or what?
i cant think,
or should i say,
focus and concentrate on my priorities ):
sighs.
i realised that my thoughts are still all over the place,
never mind xx
i dont wanna do PComD ):
chrys is happy for a bit though (:
but kinda down the other bit ):
dunno why im like that,
and i hate it.
i is weird ^^
tired lahhhhhh ):
i dozed off on jo for a while
right after i started working on my research
for PComD class.
BORIIIIIIINNNNGGGG =/
at least i think im almost all done now :D
should be sleeping soon (:
oh right,
in class today...
iskandar: why you so black??
(of course referring to me but i didnt know
cos i didnt hear him)
yzanne: she's always black what!
me: -_________________- WHATEVER!
lol being tanned is nice what.
hahaha and i'd wanted to go on saying that
being fair is like weird and not nice,
but seeing how fair some of the guys in my new class were,
i thought that i shouldnt say too much LOL.
weeeeeell,
okay lah,
not say my class before shuffling
had people who were tanned too x)
uhm on the other hand,
getting too tanned/ black is not too nice.
check wenhao for example :D
hehehehehe.
first day of october,
first day of school after two weeks' break,
first day of PComD,
first day to a start of something new,
17th year of jannah's,
15 more days to jeremy's birthday,
16 more days to pebble's mum's,
22 more day's to adelyn tan's,
23 more days to farizan's,
24 more days to MOI's andrea's,
25 more days to MOI's mark's,
26 more days to evelyn teo's,
31 more days to haq's
and to marcus's.
wow so many things happening in the month of october.
haha
okay not jus only october
but also every other month :P
been training as usual,
and tomorrow damien shall die during training
cos i shall row like a speed boat pass him :D
okay that's definitely exaggerating but :D
i will and shall not eat veggie,
thus i shall defeat you!
hahahhha :P
have to rush for class after rowing for jus an hour or less
for almost the whole of this block.
not really fun but...
i cant help it.
like yzanne said,
if i were to skip training a few times
i wouldnt be chrystal, LOL.
i bet sherwin, yujie and the rest would say the same thing.
but what to do?
im nuts and i cant help it haha :P
im tired but i've still got research to do,
so... ciao!