uh, i'd a lot of thoughts running wild in my head yesterday night.
and that was probably the reason why i couldnt sleep,
despite the fact that im totally shagged.
it really sounds senseless lah,
but i just have to spit it all out,
PUI:

i've always wanted to get involved in an accident;
be it a road accident,
to get involved in a fight, yada yada yada.
WHY?
cos i wanna experience what's it like to escape from death.
(is that what it's called? dunno.)
i wanna know whether i have a really strong willpower to live on,
i wanna know if im intelligent enough to know what to do,
i wanna know if im physically strong enough to help myself up,
i wanna know i wanna know i wanna know....

would i see the grim reaper then
hit him so hard that he couldnt take my soul with him?
would i see the heavens with angels all around
then say, "sorry, it's not my time to be here yet."
and 'woosh' back down to earth?

if i were a victim in a fight,
would i continue to stand up and fight back
when i know i can never win the fight?
if my friends were there and unconscious (touch wood!),
would i give my all into protecting them
and face all kinds of tough ordeals to save our skins?
or would i jus cower in one corner
and wait for our enemies to torture us till we ran out of life
or even wait for rescue that would never come?

we really cant predict what would happen to us
when we were to be put into
any dangerous situations that one could think of.
evryone would definitely say,
"of course i'd give up everything and save
my friends and loved ones from danger!
i'll NEVER run away from obstacles
but will try my best to overcome it!"
helloooow, easier said than done yea.
scully you're so afraid of death and be the first one to run away,
while the quietest person would be the new hero.

right...
i think i've watched too many cartoons, animes and fictional movies.
but still,
dont you wanna know what YOU have got inside of you,
this source of power sleeping within you
that you dont even know about?
think about it (:

what would happen if i died tomorrow?
my mother might say, "bon voyage my girl.
take care and dont get into trouble in the heavens yea?
and go visit your ahgong as often as you can,
he must be very bored there..."
oh would my father stop gambling
and spend more quality time with the family?
i hope so...
he better do! or i'll haunt him... hehehehe.
then june would be like, "even though i have
someone less to quarrel with all the time,
i think jiejie's really nice to leave all the good stuff for me.
i'll be a good girl from now on
and be filial to mummy and daddy."
o.o
think that sounds more like me -_-
would my friends all cry me a river to send me off?
i dont know.
jus hope that they'll all keep me in their memories forever,
never forget me yea?
who else did i miss out...
nah i dont know.

okay,
im real glad i've let this all out.
anyone with any kind of comments just tag me :D
i know people say im weird and all that but
im not weird,
i jus want to be myself,
to be different (:
dont YOU want to make a difference too?
life's too ordinary,
i want a change sometime (: